


…But Wait! There’s More!

by tielan



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Humor, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-26
Updated: 2002-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-03 23:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/pseuds/tielan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam’s boyfriend considers that Sam comes as a package deal!</p>
            </blockquote>





	…But Wait! There’s More!

**Author's Note:**

> Sam’s boyfriend considers that Sam comes as a package deal. And no, he doesn’t have a name, because if he stays around he’s just gonna die like all the rest of her guys, so what’s the point of giving him a name? I don’t know whether to call this ‘Package Deal’ or ‘…But Wait! There’s More!’ Maybe this should be called: ‘Why Sam Never Gets Any’

When he started dating Samantha Carter, he never imagined that she came as a package deal.

Date one beautiful, clever, funny woman and fall completely off-the-top in love with her.

Then discover she comes with three guys as additional extras.

Not that he doesn’t like them. They’re okay guys, even if the big black guy spooks him sometimes. He almost expects the guy to be seriously packing. But Samantha trusts him, so he shrugs and smiles.

It would be nice to get a few moments alone with her though.

She’d been gone for a few days now, and he’d planned something big for this evening. A quiet night at her place, romantic candlelit dinner, and maybe she’d let him take her to bed tonight.

Fate – or her friends – had other plans.

They piled in the door, laughing at the tops of their voices about something Daniel did, only to be greeted with a candlelit dinner and a very surprised boyfriend.

“Oh!” Her eyes – huge and blue – reflected first astonishment, then chagrin. “I completely forgot you were coming over tonight!”

She sure knows how to make a man feel special. He looks from her to the three men who’ve stopped in the hallway: embarrassed, curious, and amused.

“Ah, I guess we’re kinda interrupting then, Carter?” The drawl sets his nerves on edge. He’s not sure why. Jack O’Neill is a Colonel in the USAF, and Samantha’s commanding officer. Maybe it’s the expression on his face as he observes his subordinate’s boyfriend: a protective father observing his teenage daughter’s boyfriend couldn’t match the kind of look Colonel O’Neill can give a man.

Samantha tells him the Colonel spent years in Black Ops on missions classified so secret that if he wrote a book of memoirs, he’d have to shoot anyone who read it. The man knows how to kill a human being with his bare hands in less than ten seconds. Wonderful.

He gets the feeling that if he ever hurt Samantha there wouldn’t be a place on earth he could run to fast enough to escape the fury of this man. The Colonel would hunt him down and kill him, then go after his family. Then the man would go after his business associates, his school buddies, and anyone who’d ever shaken hands with him.

“We did not realise you were engaged for the evening, MajorCarter.” Fighting a sudden urge to find a corner and huddle down into it, he glances at the big black guy…Murray? The man is built big, and is pretty damned intimidating. And that’s when he’s being nice! He’d hate to be in line of fire when Murray’s on the rampage.

The lilt of the guy’s accent is a little strange, too. He gathers Murray isn’t from around here, but she never told him from where.

“We’ll just be going then,” blurts Dr. Daniel Jackson. Of Samantha’s three friends, Dr. Jackson is the least intimidating. That isn’t saying very much, of course – the man is brilliant, if eccentric. And polite. “We’ll go around to Jack’s instead.”

“It might be nice to ask ‘Jack’ first,” the Colonel points out, dryly.

“Well, my Hopi Kachina owl collection hasn’t recovered from your last visit, Jack, so we’re not going to my place, and T…Murray doesn’t have space in his place.”

“Sure he’s got space – all he has is candles and the bed. Even the desk is just taking up space…when was the last time you saw T…Murray with paperwork?”

“DanielJackson is correct, O’Neill I do not believe that there would be room in my quarters for the three of us. Neither do I possess a VCR.” The guy speaks with a peculiar precision – as if English isn’t his first language. “Do you object to our presence in your house?”

“No, I don’t. I just think you should ask me before deciding to invade my house.”

“Well?”

“Well, what, Danny-boy?”

“Well, can we invade your house, Jack?”

The man grumbles, but he finally agrees.

It takes them some time to leave – despite the fact that the decision is made, it seems that a great deal of bickering goes on. In the end, Samantha practically shoves them out the front door and closes it behind them. Their argument – more correctly, the argument between the Colonel and the Doctor – is clearly audible as they walk down the path to the car.

She grins at him, a little wryly, and he opens his arms for her to walk into.

“Missed you, honey.”

“Mmmm…I’m sorry I forgot.” Well, he’d been hoping for a return ‘missed you’, but it’s evidently more than she’s ready to give. “What’s on the menu?”

“Home cooked lasagne. Should be ready in a few minutes. Have a drink?” He’s had a bottle of fine red sitting on the bench for the last hour, waiting for her to get back from her work. “How was work?”

“Oh, busy.” It’s hard to talk about her work since it’s classified. All she can tell him is that it’s pretty exhausting, and very exciting. Although how ‘Deep Space Radar Telemetry’ could be exciting, he doesn’t know. Come to think of it, he doesn’t _want_ to know.

She asks about his week and he answers her questions. He tries to converse with her about world news and she looks blankly at him and lets him explain in a monologue before he gives up. The phrase ‘doesn’t get out a lot’ was made for Samantha.

The lasagne is cooked and he serves it up before her, even going to the trouble of arranging a little salad on the side. She laughs at it. “I’m so used to functional food that this looks positively luxurious!”

“Well, eat it all up and then there’s chocolate mousse for dessert.”

She grins and waits for him to seat himself.

No sooner have they begun eating, when the phone rings. She smiles an apology at him, and goes to answer it.

“Sam Carter here… Sir? Well, yes, but since I’m not there… You didn’t have to call and ask, sir… Yes. Have a good-night, Colonel. Good-bye.”

She puts the phone down and sits back down at the table.

A second later the phone rings again and she dumps her head in her hands, “This is not happening to me.”

“You don’t have to answer it, you know.”

She grimaces, “They know I’m home, they’ll just keep ringing.” And up she gets to answer the phone. “Sir, I would really appreciate it if… Oh, Teal’c, I’m sorry…no…of course you can. Didn’t the Colonel say…okay. Tell him I said you can… Oh, and please don’t call back. Can you make sure that the Colonel and Daniel don’t call back, too? Please? Thanks, Teal’c.”

_Teal’c?_

As she sits back down, he wonders if he should ask, or keep quiet.

Best to keep quiet. He knows she works up in the Air Force Base at Cheyenne Mountain on a ‘Deep Space Radar Telemetry’ project that’s so classified they really would have to kill you if they told you about it. It means she’s away a fair bit, but when she’s got time to spend with a guy…

That’s half the problem. She doesn’t have a lot of time to spend with a guy. And when she does, her mind is usually elsewhere, and almost inevitably one of her team-mates calls in the middle of a tender moment. It’s like they have a sixth sense about her love life and when is the most inconvenient time to interrupt it. If he was paranoid, he’d suggest that her house is under constant surveillance by them.

The rest of dinner is a little strained, with most of their conversation being small talk. She eats the food he prepared with appreciation, but her thoughts are with her friends rather than with him.

By the end of the meal, he knows he’s fighting a losing battle and he’s had enough of it.

As she puts down her fork and compliments him for the dessert, he begins his ‘big speech’. It’s not the one he was going to give tonight, but it’s going to be a big speech anyway.

“Look Sam, you know I love you – I’ve been in love with you for…well…ages… But…I don’t know if I can do this any more.” Something flickers in her eyes – regret? Sadness? He’s not sure. “It’s just…it’s like you come as a package deal.”

It obviously wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. Her eyebrows – bird wings arching over blue pools of infinity – rise as she inquires: “A package deal?”

“Yeah, date one woman, and get her three friends thrown in as a bonus.”

Her mouth twitches, and slowly she begins to laugh.

After ten seconds it looks like she’s not going to stop.

Slowly, the humour of it hits him and he finds himself grinning at the crazy imagery. It’s not quite the balm he wants for his injured heart, but it’s better than nothing else.

Samantha Carter, package deal.

At last she stops, wiping her eyes and still smiling.

“I’m sorry,” she tells him, still dabbing at her eyes. “It’s just that I’ve put so much of me into my work for the last few years, I don’t have a life anymore – and my friends probably don’t help.”

He feels like telling her they _definitely_ don’t help, but keeps his mouth shut.

She glances up at him, “I really am sorry about everything.”

He sighs, his heart sinking. A part of him hoped that she’d care enough to give her job and her friends the flick, but, pragmatist that he is, he knows that’s not the way she works. “So am I, Samantha.” But he’ll take it like a man, and leave gracefully.

They talk of small things as he helps her tidy up a little, closing down the fragments of their short-lived relationship. Only a month, and most of it spent trying to make time for each other. That’s not the kind of relationship he wanted from her.

Even now, once the decision is made, he finds himself regretting it. He could take back the decision on his side, but he suspects that she wouldn’t take back her own decision. He doesn’t mean as much to her as her friends do, and he’s not willing to settle for less than all of her.

She kisses him lightly as he leaves – a kind of apology for things not working out between them. She glances out at him, and closes the door before he’s even reached the letterbox. So much for him.

He’d take her in an instant if she really liked him, and if it wasn’t for the guys that come along with her.

Unfortunately…




I guess we scared him off.

Jack muttered that if he was intimidated by the three of us, then he wasn’t worth keeping anyway.

She doesn’t seem unhappy about it, at least. She’s not moping or sulking, although Sam isn’t the kind of woman who mopes or sulks anyway.

The comment about ‘a package deal’ was what really tickled me.

Date one Major Sam Carter, and get an additional commanding officer (slightly worn), archaeologist (doubles as a punching bag), and Jaffa (staff weapon not included). From a General’s point of view, it might be a bargain, but a lover probably would run away screaming. Or at least seriously rethinking their relationship like the last guy.

We probably should give her a bit more space, but even if Teal’c and I did, I somehow doubt Jack would. He’s pretty protective of her. Of course, he’s protective of all of us, but it doesn’t fuel the gossip as much as his proximity to Sam.

So we stay close to make it less obvious that Jack’s staying close…and somehow any guy who gets near Sam ends up…well…either six feet under – which has nothing to do with us! – or a long way away. Sometimes both.

Sorry, Sam.

Guess you’re stuck with us.


End file.
